Christmas

Months passed and we grew closer together. Caution faded a little and our handshakes turned into hugs and holding hands but I drew the line at kissing. I told him that I would not kiss him until he was divorced and that was that. He respected my decision and was a good sport about it.

I was going to Idaho to spend Christmas with my sister, Shan'l, and her family and so Joe and I had a gift exchange the night before I left. I gave him a photo album with some pictures of us in it, a journal, and some cologne I can't resist. I opened the gift he gave me and it was a beautiful watch. I was so pleased until he put it back in the box and tossed it across the room. Huh?

He looked at me and said he had something I would like a lot better and I couldn't imagine what it could be since I really liked that watch. He looked down and pulled some papers from his sweatshirt pocket and said he was officially divorced! He was right! It was the best Christmas gift ever! After looking through the papers to make sure it was real (I had been waiting so long for this that it seemed unbelievable to finally have happened) I leaned over and kissed him again and again. Then we stood up and I directed him under the mistletoe, and kissed him some more. I've always wanted to kiss under the mistletoe! Remember I said that he was working on these papers in September and here it was 3 months later of waiting for it to go through. That was a lot of waiting! AND the papers said he was divorced 3 weeks earlier. We just hadn't gotten the paperwork yet. Maybe the Lord wanted to give us this gift for Christmas.

We were finally able to announce it to the world that he and I were officially dating. It felt so good to be able to feel free and open with my feelings about him.

Oh . . . and I always wanted to kiss someone on New Years and that dream came true too. *wink*

The Kink

Joe finally came over and rode my motorcycle. He looked so good on it! My heart started pounding so fast that when it was my turn to ride, I took the corner out of my driveway too fast, made too wide of a turn and ended up driving on the dirt shoulder instead of the street. Not too impressive. I'm just glad I didn't crash.

Our friendship grew and every time I talked with him I could see a twinkle in his eye that let me know he was interested in me. He would text me every morning to say good morning and every night to say goodnight and of course texts throughout the day. He was very respectful and careful . . . almost to a fault. When we would talk, fireworks would go off in my head and I could tell by looking in his eyes that he felt the same way. But he would never ask me out. He would make comments about wanting to keep things appropriate. At first I thought he was just super respectful and wanting to make sure I was comfortable which only made me like him more, but as time went on I began to wonder what was the hold-up? Let's date already!

He would talk about needing to close chapters from his past and such. Maybe he was still married! Sure enough. I finally asked him about it and he told me that he had been separated from his wife for 5 years and that he was working on getting a divorce. That was in September. It wasn't until December that the divorce became final. More waiting, Mattie Rae. Haven't I waited long enough already? I guess not.

We kept our contact with one another at handshake distance although our hearts yearned to be closer. We continued our friendship by taking walks together at night and just talking. I was very uncomfortable with that fact that he was still married. I didn't want anyone to think of me as a woman that would date a married man. I didn't want to be that kind of woman EVER. Strange the situations I find myself in sometimes.

We did well. We kept our relationship as friends only for months. I admit that it was difficult because the love for him that was growing in my heart was ready to burst. The time was just not right yet.

I tried to keep a good perspective. It was good to keep ourselves from physical affection because then we could focus on getting know each other better. I fell deeper in love in him as I learned more about his commitment to the gospel. He got us reading the Book of Mormon together and praying together. When he got his temple recommend to do baptisms, he would go every week. He would bear his testimony every Fast Sunday. He would do his home teaching and fulfill his callings. Every principle of the gospel he learned he would implement it into his life immediately. He was living the gospel in a way that was inspiring and in a way that every member should. He was unbelievable. He was too good to be true. He was true though. He was so sincere in it all. I've never met a man like him. I am in love with him!

The Next Step

Things were going well with Joe and I as friendly ward members but I felt a need to test the waters a little to see if there was any potential. Besides, it is always fun to flirt a little, right? He would always greet me with "Hey Crazy" and a handshake. I felt that since he had given me a nickname, there might be a spark of something more than friendly ward members. One time when he shook my hand, I was slow to release so that our hands gently touched each other a little longer than a normal handshake release would. I wanted to communicate the lingering feeling in my heart as my hand lingered in his.

I went to the sunday school class he was attending and made sure there was an empty seat by me. The first time he didn't take the bait but I think it was because he felt he had to sit by the door because it was his job to ring the sunday school bell and gather the attendance rolls from the other classes so he had to leave early. So the next time I sat in the chair next to where he sat. He sat next to me (not that he had a choice).

After a couple of weeks going to his class, I felt that I was getting my hopes up so I went to the other class and he asked me afterward why I didn't go to "our" class. He missed me! I continued going to "our" class and we would always sit by each other. We were becoming good friends. I would always lean in my seat toward him slightly just for the chance of our arms brushing. He was always so good to share his scriptures and lesson book with me and so I stopped bringing mine altogether so that our arms would have to touch as we leaned into each other so we could both read.

It was so thrilling!

It was summertime and I was often out in the front yard working on cars and things just at the time he was getting home from work. He would always drive down my street which I think wasn't the way he normally could have gone. He would see me out there and stop by and talk and help me out with whatever I was working on. We would both grin from ear to ear when we saw each other and I often prayed at night with so much gratitude for sending me a friend in my lonely life.

I thought it was time for the next step. Giving him my phone number. This is a defining moment. It was a test to see if he would call me or not. I've tried this before with someone else and he never called me. It is a signal to see how interested they really are.

Through his stopping by and conversation he learned that I had a motorcycle and I could see his eyes light up like mine do when I even hear the word motorcycle. He said he hadn't ridden in years so I offered to let him ride mine. I used this excuse to give him my phone number so he could call and let me know when he could come over and take a ride.

He took the bait and although he didn't come over to ride my motorcycle right away, he and I have been texting maniacs since that day. I was never a texter until he came along and I am grateful for all the texting because now I have a record of how our relationship has grown through those messages and I now I can share it all with you!